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NoOb world, part 5
by: Bill Xiong, aka. "NoOb123."

You were very depressed.

You are still very depressed.

People can clearly see that you are depressed.

No one remembers what you were depressed about.

Your friend tries to comfort you.

“What’s the matter?”

“I’m tired.”

“What’s the matter?”

“I’m tired.”

“Awww. That’s okay. Everything is okay. Everyone’ll be just fine.”

“The world’s upside down.”

“That’s okay.”

“My arm fell off.”

“Stop making a mountain out of a molehill. That’s a small problem.”

“My finger broke.”

“Okay. That’s really serious. Let’s get you to a hospital.”

It turned out that the hospital staff forgot how to use their computerized system to open doors, and most of them forgot their keys, so you were shipped off to the isolation room. It was supposed to be under constant negative pressure, so that the air coming into the room doesn’t go back out, but someone forgot to turn the vacuum on, and instead turned off the lights. In the darkness, you found your fingers still conveniently attached to your body and escaped from the hospital.

Halfway down the street, the ambulance came and arrested you on false charges. You were then shipped via express post to the Court of Star Chamber, which someone forgot to call to order, and everyone ended up playing minesweeper and solitaire on their computers instead.

You were then convicted and put into jail, but no one remembered what you were convicted for, and so you were sent back onto the streets by a less-than-expert postman.

You safely reached home, walked back and forth across the street a few times, and dug into your pockets for your keys, when you remembered that you forgot to take your keys form the hospital. Instead, you took a whole set of hospital keys.

Rather than walking back to get your rightful key, you decide to try one of the hospital keys at random.

Miraculously, your door opens.

It was just what you had suspected all along.

The hospital people were secretly in control of all the lock in the country.

If that is so, then where did all the locksmiths go?

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